Self Sabotage Psychology | How to set yourself up for success in 2021
Hey Muses, welcome back to my channel. So you've got a new year's resolution for 2021, but maybe your track record with new year's resolutions ain't that great, and you're afraid this year isn't going to be any different. Well, I've got some good news for you because by the end of this video, you'll have busted through two mindset blocks and be well on your way to making sure that 2021 is the year you finally achieve your new year's resolution.
Watch the video below, or read on for the full transcript.
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In order for the two mindset shifts I'm going to share with you today to make sense and have the impact we're looking for, we need to be on the same page about what mindset we're shifting away from. And today's hot button topic is patience.
And don't worry. I'm not going to tell you to "just be patient" while going after your goals, because eww. If I had a twenty for every time somebody told me to "just be patient."
In our culture we've been raised to be highly impatient, but more specifically, we've been raised to be highly impatient for outcomes. We want what we want now, and we want to have accomplished our goals yesterday.
The common self-help slash personal development advice to counter this impatience is to "focus on the journey," or for you Brandon Sanderson fans out there, "journey before destination." And I am here for that advice, but the trouble is most people who tout that advice conveniently fail to mention exactly how to focus on journey over destination. And that's what I want to talk to you about today.
Comment below and tell me, do you tend towards being too patient or too impatient? And what does your inner critic have to say about that? I have a history of being much too patient, and yet my inner critic was mad at me for not being patient enough. The joys of being me.
So mindset shifts, here we go! In order to arrive at the bliss that is journey before destination, we need to learn how to wield patience as the powerful, double-edged sword that it is. We need to learn how to wield patience sometimes, while wielding impatience at other times.
Let's start with the impatient part.
Getting started is pretty much always the hardest part about anything and everything that we do in life. And the trouble with being human? It's incredibly rare to accomplish a meaningful goal in only one day, meaning that every day there comes a time when we have to start again in order to pick up where we left off and continue making progress toward our goals.
I used to be someone who was patient to a fault and would often wait around for something or someone outside of me to egg me on. But did that happen? No. Was I impatient for the outcome I wanted, however? Of course I was! I was, incredibly impatient for the outcomes I wanted in life, for the change I wanted in life, but I wasn't impatient for the part that would actually move the needle every day. The part where I got started again every day and picked up where I left off.
So this is the first mindset shift: be impatient to start every day. Be impatient to get back to the work every day.
So that was mindset shift number one, all about wielding impatience in a tactical, but powerful way. So now let's move on to mindset shift number two, which is how to wield patience in a powerful and tactical way.
Patience becomes powerful at the end of the day, when it comes time to wrap up the day and put your work aside. Like I said earlier, meaningful projects and goals are rarely accomplished in a single day, which means that until the day comes that you actually accomplish the goal, every other day before that there comes a point when you have to leave the work unfinished.
And that requires a whole hell of a lot of patience: patience with yourself for not having made more progress than you did, patience with the project for inevitably taking longer than you planned or expected it to, patience with human existence for inevitably being a never-ending, ever-growing to-do list.
Giving yourself unconditional permission to put down a project at the end of the day, and to leave it unfinished, and trusting that you'll pick it up again the next day, is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself.
So those are your two shifts, your way of wielding patience as a powerful double-edged sword. Mindset shift number one: wield impatience every day, and have impatience to start, to pick up where you left off, to get going again. That's where you wield impatience. And then conversely, at the end of the day, you wield patience so you can leave your work unfinished, to be picked up again the next day and the next day. It's, it's the patience for not being done yet. And that is... Combining those two on a daily basis is so powerful.
And once you've strung together enough days like this, where you have wielded patience like the powerful double-edged sword that it is, once you've established the habit of starting again every day, and established the habit of leaving your work unfinished every day, somewhere along the way I promise you'll inevitably discover that you're no longer impatient for the destination, and are instead finally relishing in the journey.
So there you have it. Two powerful mindset shifts to help you create the habit of consistency you need to ensure you accomplish your 2021 new year's resolution, and every goal that comes after.
If you're interested in even more mindset shifts like this, I highly recommend checking out my free Masterclass where I share three more mindset shifts, along with a really simple but powerful three-step process for ensuring that you start again every single day. Because really, starting is the hardest part, and so much of what I do in my coaching is around helping someone get started again every single day. Because that's what stands in between you and being someone who is consistently disciplined enough to accomplish their goals. You can get access to this Masterclass for free. All you have to do is go to this link and sign up.
This video today was the first in a four-part series I'm doing in January to help set you up for success in 2021. So subscribe if you don't want to miss the next three videos. And if you like this video, please hit that like button and share it with your friends. I'll be back next Tuesday. See you then. Bye.
OUTTAKES:
Counter this impatience is... Brain fiert- brain FART. 🤣
Wield patience as the... [SOUND OF SOMETHING DYING, BUT BEING IMPATIENT ABOUT IT]
Track record. Track record! [ANGRY MODEM NOISE]
Wield the powerful... Why is this sentence so hard?
So that was mindset shift number two. Now let's move on to... [BLEH!] I can't count.
In a powerful, tac - tac tac tac tac, tactiful? Tac... TACTICAL! I was an English major I swear.
Oh that was good! Okay.